they thought it is easy for me, figuring out exactly what to do. they thought i am really lucky to be among the few who could pull it off, this kind of lifestyle, which everyone wish for. having a job you love, going traveling to where ever the world calls out. more often than not, i have to make really huge sacrifices in every aspect, something so essential they missed out.
years ago, i am no different from anyone else. just wanted a high pay job, probably a corporate job, cubicle prisoner. this would satisfy everyone else, almost everyone else, all except for me. the change came when i was let in a glimpse of all these "prestigious" job, i learned, fell hard and learned the true value of my life.
if i myself don't give myself a voice, nobody will. nobody can be bothered with it. i could be the plain jane the office mule and made no controversial choices. but the fact is, this is not me. a far-cry from what i want in life.
i want to be proud of myself. i want to speak of my life with glories, not to impress. simply just to have no regrets. yes it is that simple. i want to believe life is full of possibility. i want to lead an enriching life. most importantly, i want to be myself, truly myself, over and over again. only this, would i be able to rejoice in my existence even if nobody else is going to celebrate it.
i want to spread ecstasy like the sun, enveloping the surrounding with energy, the gentle and loving energy. in no way do i wish my lifestyle to burn away others. even though it is what that is happening to the other. my pursuit truly disgrace them. i am not remorseful, i did nothing wrong, rob no one and not touch a soul awry.
i want to love, like i know i am capable of. i want to embrace this world. i crave and yearn for the love that so belonging to me and yet eludes me now. i will give myself a chance even if the world denied for there is no greater sin than passing the death sentence during life to oneself.
another chance, another belief, another love. this life, this is me.
No comments:
Post a Comment