this feel like in the valley of wrong.

ambling in the rain, i couldn't help but think how limp i have been. i couldn't be like the sun, scorching and harsh yet gentle and merciful at time. nor could i be the rain, thunderstorm, drizzle, hurricane; bringing flood, striking fear and cowering people. however they are still so much celebrated, irrigation, farming, drinking water, bringing life; look how the plants sway, rustling in tune with their life giver and how the flowers beam, dancing and flaunting their dresses.

forces of the nature, singing their song uniquely every single day, bestowing growth yet destroying life at the same time. destruction of old give rise to a newly born. this is how the universe operates to achieve balance. i should have learned earlier that this is the cycle of the world, i can't defy it. yet i felt rotten to feel this disintegration inside of me. under scrutiny, my very own, maybe harsh critic.

i am not backing away from everybody. this is just what it seems when i am following my dreams. to the light or even to the shadow, this is a pathway to no limitations. i don't wish to be abandoned, its just that i feel human are by nature forgetful. perhaps upon my return, i have only myself as my companion. no friends, no family, no love. i know how much i am sacrificing. trust me, i given it much thoughts, without sacrifice there can't come an achievement.

i just hope this phase of destruct passes soon.

emblazon on my name, the certainty to take flight.

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