a little insight about motivation

they all came and realise it is is not that easy. of course it is not that easy. what do they expect life to be? without challenges, all so smooth flowing, that would be a bland life wouldn't it-everything going your way? there bound to be restrictions. brick walls are there to differentiate the ones who really want it from those that just simply hope they were lucky enough to pass through. no denial luck do play a part.

i am not going to stop here, facing this huge wall you place nonchalantly. bruises, cut and blood all over me. i have come this far. people are amazed, i know i can continue to push myself to a greater height. dreams are sacred but not esoteric. dreams are meant to be fulfilled and not forgotten in the silence of the day. so much i have said, but i still see regrets among others rising. everything, every decision, there is a lesson to be learned, there are no regrets, just detour in my life. long paths taken but i won't think about the road not tread. trail blazer, no perhaps not that unique. i just hate to follow suit.

people say i am motivated but little did they know how impress i am by their choice of lifestyle. to be able to survive in a monotonous dread, a mundane life. i would never be able to pull that off. an average human seeks for new expeiences. i really admire those who could live their days an exact replica to the other days. they are extraordinary.

if you do something you love, it just takes very little motivation as you are intrinsically driven. however, if you are doing something you hate, i believe it take more motivation as you feel dejected constantly. so now could you see who is the superhuman now? its actually the conformist themselves, with their steel will and mind. they have the strength to disagree and turn back from their inner self in order to receive adulation from others. i never find myself succumbing to that.

i have to confess. forgive me for being so weak. i couldn't resist my inner voice, or call it temptations if it makes you feel better. perhaps, i am motivate by selfishness. i am sorry.

i forgive myself, i hope you do too. 

wing in wonderland

I wish we could run into each other arms and find ourselves in a perfect fit that we never have known before. the warmth flowing from you to me and making its way back to you again. finding ourselves with this heart to heart connection. we could just stay like there forever. you breathing in the smell of my hair, and me feeling the security of your chest.

just let me keep dreaming until reality drags me up.

this feel like in the valley of wrong.

ambling in the rain, i couldn't help but think how limp i have been. i couldn't be like the sun, scorching and harsh yet gentle and merciful at time. nor could i be the rain, thunderstorm, drizzle, hurricane; bringing flood, striking fear and cowering people. however they are still so much celebrated, irrigation, farming, drinking water, bringing life; look how the plants sway, rustling in tune with their life giver and how the flowers beam, dancing and flaunting their dresses.

forces of the nature, singing their song uniquely every single day, bestowing growth yet destroying life at the same time. destruction of old give rise to a newly born. this is how the universe operates to achieve balance. i should have learned earlier that this is the cycle of the world, i can't defy it. yet i felt rotten to feel this disintegration inside of me. under scrutiny, my very own, maybe harsh critic.

i am not backing away from everybody. this is just what it seems when i am following my dreams. to the light or even to the shadow, this is a pathway to no limitations. i don't wish to be abandoned, its just that i feel human are by nature forgetful. perhaps upon my return, i have only myself as my companion. no friends, no family, no love. i know how much i am sacrificing. trust me, i given it much thoughts, without sacrifice there can't come an achievement.

i just hope this phase of destruct passes soon.

emblazon on my name, the certainty to take flight.

Young Entrepreneur Award 2010

 

gonna try for this! hopefully i can finish my proposal on time. 6 days to write a business proposal! can i do it? 

life should be a dream

what good does a dream serves should one back up after presented with an initial obstacle. if it were to be like a breeze, everybody would be taking it so lightly. but fact is, people don't realise the true form of our journey, the way the universe works. to segregate the real do-er and those that just pay lip service to their dream, the ego of one has to be thrashed upfront. if one still couldn't fathom this logic, it could be equate to those of a baby step. we stumble, fall and pick ourselves up. slowly but surely, we learn to walk, approaching a sprint, a gait, a chase. we know this since we were born however over time, we lose this instinctive nature due to the fast impact society that we lived in. imagine that, people shot to fame overnight after posting their video on the internet. more often than not, viewers neglect the years of hard work behind it and look at the whole situation through rose-tinted glasses. everything we do got to have an instantaneous impact. but you know, we don't start out to build the biggest, strongest, most mind blowing staircase towards our dream. we start by laying the steps stably, one at a time. climbing up towards our ultimate goal. nothing about it is going to be easy but if we were to survive the beginning hardship, the universe would reward us bit by bit, though with it random bout of test, encouraging us to stick to our resolution.

show me that we are not weaklings that bow down so easily. prove to me that we could all fight with the same passion. then again i don't need to follow, let me set the rules on how i'm gonna do it.

the air of resistance

sometimes, i guess we are just too sensible in keeping our distance. probably cause i can't break through my own barrier.

doesn't matter, whats important now is to protect my dream.

i dream a dream

1. Backpack south east asia
2. Work at a farm in Australia
3. Going to the safari of Africa
4. Learning to cook
5. Setting up a food stall/restaurant overseas
6. Write an inspiring blog
7. Find a way to travel-work
8. Become a photographer
9. Getting a degree in social science or animal related
10. Setting up an online business that will reach out to people from all over the world
11. Building a house or something similar
12. Have a pet
13. Be invited to give an inspirational speech
14. Be featured on a magazine or tv
15. Jeep-ing through desert
16. Exploring the outback of Australia
17. Draw with pastel or any other medium
18. Climb mt everest
19. Dive in the world best dive site
20. Feed a shark
21. Learning to dive
22. Meet dalai lama to discuss about the meaning of life
23. Backpack india
24. Bungee jumping
25. Sky diving
26. Paragliding
27. Banana boat
28. Cliff jumping
29. White water rafting
30. Work in another country for at least half a year
31. Get tefl certification
32. Volunteer oversea
33. Write a book
34. Learn guitar
35. Learn at least one form of dancing
36. Go to Taiwan
37. Go to gold coast
38. Carpenter
39. Get a motor bike license
40. Own a motor bike
41. Bike through the hectic traffic of Thailand
42. Milk a cow
43. Exploring Nepal and Tibet and Bhutan
44. Learn more about Buddhism
45.Top blogger award
46. Exploring a cave
47. Read a person’s mind
48. Face-reading
49. Stay at a mountain with its natives
50. Exploring a virgin island
51. Visit at least one country in europe
52. Live in a caravan
53. Sleep under the stars on board a ship
54. Live a life of a sailor
55. Win a thousand dollar in a casino
56. Achieve animal talk
57. Work in an almost wild animal conservation site, hopefully africa :)
58. Eat an insect/scorpion
59. Take the trans-siberian railway
60. Trek a mountain
61. Stay in a tree house
62. Skiing
63. Get into a hot air balloon
64. Attend a massive, crazy and fun carnival
65. Be at oktoberfest
66. Get postsecret series
67. Get Paulo Coelho books
68. Open a farm
69. Travel by cycling in any country
70. Setting up a indie travel company
71. Setting up a fabulously awesome cafe that serves popular coffee and caffeinated dishes.
72. Increase awareness of how we can break free of everything!

Finally, always keep dreaming and working towards my dream(s)!

the defence mechanism of a porcupine

you are the sole ranger in this expense of desert. theres nobody to rely on. running away, you couldn't even keep up with yourself. this is how it all seems, a reflection of your preference to work in solitude.

but sometimes, you really just got to help yourself simply by reaching out. you are never alone, no matter how isolated you feel. theres always going to be people who care. if you just observe, even the desert is sprawling with activity every minute.

believe help will be there unless you first choose to shut yourself off.

this, i really got to keep reminding myself. i am weak for i don't know how to express myself. within layers and layers, i hold so dear. i just couldn't bare myself in front of others.

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you know something meant a lot to you if it could make you fume and end up in sobs.
what does it take to dream a dream that everyone forbids?

one life. live it.

life is about achieving your dream not the soul-sucking job nor the unnecessary commitments and debts. why couldn't people get it? i know, achieving my dream is not going to be easy. nobody says it will be but it will make the best out of this lifetime, my only life.

don't die while you are living. stay alive till it is time to meet the reaper.

if you believe i am throwing away my life like that.

(on the international level)
global warming is going to kill you
influenza is going to kill you
terrorism is going to kill you

(on land)
the robber is going to kill you
drink-driving is going to kill you
high-rise litter is going to kill you

(on lifestyle)
alcohol and nicotine are going to kill you
late-night out is going to kill you
even internet addiction is going to kill you

(on me)
and now, my dream is going to kill me.
well, whats new?
now is your move, make a smart guess on what i will die for.

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"let us live so that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry." - Mark Twain

contentment

look at you. a sturdy shelter above your head, a comfy bed, sumptuous meal on the table, new clothes to wear, tv and internet to connect to the rest of the world just at the tip of your finger. yet, you whine, you complain, you are unsatisfied with what you own.

look at the world. if you do not get it yet, those things are considered luxuries, not basic necessities. bet you didn't know that you are one of the richest in this world population. yet you claim that you are poor. people are being deprived of these things you take as granted. you can't see how much you have, you need to learn to count your blessing.

look inside of you. you got to be taught on being contented. don't believe anybody if they say contentment is for underachiever. what do they know about being successful? what do they know about YOUR definition of success? don't let the notion of being rich and holding a high position equates to success get the best of you.

look at this law of achieving, the maslow's hierarchy of needs. you have to be feeling secure with the basic level before proceeding to the next. tell me, how many times do you hear, i will do xxx when i have enough money. exactly what is enough? there will not be enough without contentment. in the end, we will never reach self-actualization cause we are all obsessed with "safety" i.e. financial resources. no step will be taken to achieve our dreams. its going to be difficult to convince ourselves that what we have is sufficient but its possible, for the sake of living a dream.

look at your dream. it just take one belief to break the mould, to believe you have all it takes. u just have to take the first step and not look back. run, sprint towards your dream and embrace whatever that comes along, be it good, be it bad. for that, for all your courage, you will taste success.

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"when you have come to the end of all the light you know and are willing to take one more step - either you will be given solid ground to stand on or you will be taught how to fly."
- Gordon Paul

one day

what if one day...
i lost faith in my dreams
i abandon all my aspirations
physical beauty becomes of utmost importance
i change to be a hard core materialistic girl
i am obsessed with being thin like a stick man
i am so much superficial and so much lesser of me
i am complacent with what comes along and resign to fate

what have i grow into?
what will i be?
no answers, no promises,
but at least i know the above will digust even me myself

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some use danger as a reason to pull out, no point in exposing our vulnerability
other see danger as an opportunity to test one ability, contemplating if they will succeed in overcoming or bypassing it
there no right or wrong in both perceptions, but i am a believer of the latter. simply cause of the sense of triumph that makes me feel damn good about myself..

wing unveiled

People closest to my heart think that I am ridiculous or are dashing my dreams

I thought I could turn to my friends for support, encouragement and positive feedback but that hasn’t been the case. On my receiving end, its always, “are u sure u want to do that, you gonna lose one limb doing that, or worse lose your brain”, “that’s insane/crazy, you should be locked up”, “stop touring mars, u shld get back and down to earth” (alright they are my own interpretation of their words. Nobody would want to say that straight in my face. Well u can try. lol) no, no. never was there a positive comment or not even a constructive feedback. (fyi. I get my mental support from online articles. Pretty pathetic I would say)

But sorry guys, if I can’t be stopped so easily, that’s just not me. At least that’s not who I want to be. So the next time when I speak of my dreams, before u vomit out all your negative/non-essential feedbacks. I suggest u think twice n u better off swallowing it all in and let it rots in your stomach/gut. I don’t mind people correcting me. However don’t speak the obvious. I am not brainless, I can think for myself. I am not reckless, I just pursuing my dream. When everybody is speaking of the same basic comment, its not going to probe deep enough into my brain to make a significant, lasting effect. Instead I see it as a challenge, a chance to pick up a fight. (a verbal one that is)

who is to determine whats safe and whats not other than oneself? Is leading a sane life going to guarantee u from not falling off the edge? Is living on the edge going to draw your last breath instantly?

U can live yr life in this human rat race all u want. Don’t expect me to follow suit. I am not in the mainstream. And I am proud of that. If it is wrong to do things that u love/ have a burning, undying passion for (provided it does not harm oneself and everything else), then living in itself is a sin.

People try so hard to earn so much and yet they forget why they earn. They forget the reason why they fight so hard.

Since young we are taught sky is blue but why doesn’t anybody teach us that the sky is boundless? Cause we know it from the very start, its in our guts, it flows in our blood. And yet, when we grow, our sky is diminished. Constricted by our very own weak mental power, we shut out everything that we could not grapple with.

And here, I shall humbly ask, “will u help me to attain my dream?”