A new year. a great start. new dreams. continuation of plans. 2011 spells a great year of opportunity for me. changes have occurred and i called that growth. i'm on a trajectory, whereby hopefully i would end on the intended place. even if i don't. it would be a good life experience.
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just before the year end, the interviewee looked at my results and offhandedly claimed, you are a brilliant young girl, aren't you. i sneered. merits, they termed it.
i am by no mean brilliant, and no amount of grades could testify against it. no i am not ridiculing the education system. i always believe if you find your way to study and work hard at it, you bound to get good results. of course there are geniuses in this world who is just born with more gray matter. but if you belong to the same group as me, the average person with average number of gray matter. imagine this, each day you wake up and study, sleep. wake up and study. sleep. don't tell me all the information is not going to get inside your head. it will go inside. trust me. and viola. you will get good results the next semester. the only variable is probably your talent. but talent without hard-work is not going further than hard-work without talent. i believe talent only shorten the time duration needed. all and all, it still take around 10,000 (or is it 100,000?) hours to master something.
it is wrong for our society to place people in forms of grade. however that is the easiest measurable way to do it. people are always looking for short cuts. you could be in some scholarship list yet commit adultery or child porn as long as you are smart enough to keep it under wraps. people are born to be different, they still don't realise how grave it is to categorise people using this one system. we are not a string that could be measured just by stretching ourselves against a ruler.
some of us are born to be artists, some athletics, some dancers, some models, some designers, some psychics and others to so many more than my imagination could cook up. but education has to put us into a box claiming, "oh, this is to be a scientist, a businessman, an accountant, or worse, a lowly-wage worker." nobody wants that. to be jeered at for their life choice. even if you are going to make a breakthrough, you are bound to pass by this stage of ostracizing and being scorned at. there used to be this period of time whereby scientist that name animals and giving them a personality is being termed as moron (or some what likely). but see how the mentality shifted? from basic instinct, non-thinking moving organism to feeling and thinking animals that have a heart and even more developed senses (the sixth sense) than human. and some even believe that animals are more connected to the world. i am a supporter of this belief.
visualize this, the optimum world with a balanced and holistic education in opposition to our suppressed, grades revolving, limited view education. which one do you prefer? its a long way to the former but i believe things will take a better turn.
i don't want any more labels. i want people to see me as a special entity and respect my decision like how i do with others. the right and wrong of one (as long as it doesn't hurt another person physically) could only be judged by themselves.
Showing posts with label education. Show all posts
Showing posts with label education. Show all posts
Monday, January 3, 2011
Saturday, December 4, 2010
being average in my life
i feel like if i were to break down, nobody will care, a lot of time, too many times. i know i am probably wrong because if i were to break down, that is when everyone starts to care. just take a look at any wake, there are so many people. the deceased must be real popular when he/she is alive isn't it? when i can't even count up to 20 for my group of close friends.
i feel like i am lying in a coffin, stifled in pity and tears of others. i want to lay down the strong threshold of my soul, even if it just for a while. let the emotions flood through, so i could shriek hysterically in agony or rend in bereavement or giggling to tears. i want to do all those because it is exhausting from all those resistance.
when i look at others, it seems to me they need no guidance or whatsoever. true, they might not know what they want in life but they seems to have no qualms about living life like that, following the flow, easy does it. even the hardest moment isn't dark matter in the head. make no doubt, i'm talking about school. they could never go wrong with that isn't it? that's what i see.
people retorted, you know nothing about university life, all the failures and disappointment. exams, the ultimate source of the dispirited. it is a daunting event, years or months of study for that one shot, so as to have a distinct line cutting through the creme of the crop and the more average than average students. its their holy grail, being the best, staying up the top. afterall, there is no significant place on earth for the average. they didn't pay huge sum of money and be in debt to be average. most of them didn't but i did.
during primary school, i got a score barely qualified for special courses but opted for an average neighbourhood school. i went on to graduate from this school with 7 'A's but went over to polytechnic. (guess that what most people then see it as the lower option). average average.
during my poly life, i was not even close to the top 30%, let alone 10%. honestly i don't know where i stand among my cohort as we don't get to see our ranking, unlike in primary and secondary school. i was never out of the top 10% till i reach poly. mark my words, never. i was the brilliant student, better than the average but hovering under the top. still, i was never given the limelight, you could say i was just an average.
till poly, i couldn't be more average than i am ever was. throughout. i got no good result, no magnificent CCA records, no high rank held. i am your kind of more average than average poly students. however, being average doesn't grant me indemnity from those bout of worries, meeting deadlines, exams, class tests; thoughts about lunch, surviving a boring lesson, to play or to study during study week and what to eat during lecture. i nailed it down, not the way people want me to and still manage to have lotsa fun.
they all said poly is not even a prelude to university education, its hell and heaven. perhaps, a lot of them make a wake up call to be diligent. no more toying around unless good grades are secured. hopefully they know what they are doing in life and not just making the best out of the worst case scenarios. i can't argue if the student genuinely love what they are studying. i still seeing otherwise, thats why i still think education is a necessary un-necessity. oxymoron. thats education for you.
education is a good idea, all of us should be educated. i can't foresee where we will be without it; hollow souls and pipe dreams. the thing is, the curriculum and the whole concept about "holistic" education, it is bullshit. the educators polish our brain smooth to coat our belief that academic results are most essential to be successful. thats why we couldn't even take a bump.
look back and see how many things you should and want to know but the school didn't proffer. for me, i want to learn flute, drawing, creating a website, more about nature and many many more. you could argue that all these are taught in school but still, they don't come in a bundle in those conventional school.
so much for student life. for now, i am lingering at crossroad, not being decisive enough to cut off from my current situation so as to move towards a money making solution. maybe with higher level of education, i'll be able to make a more informed decision. thats what they think right? the higher the level of education, the more you should know.
so for the students out there burying their head in the sea of books till godforsaken time, i hope you know exactly what you are pursuing.
i feel like i am lying in a coffin, stifled in pity and tears of others. i want to lay down the strong threshold of my soul, even if it just for a while. let the emotions flood through, so i could shriek hysterically in agony or rend in bereavement or giggling to tears. i want to do all those because it is exhausting from all those resistance.
when i look at others, it seems to me they need no guidance or whatsoever. true, they might not know what they want in life but they seems to have no qualms about living life like that, following the flow, easy does it. even the hardest moment isn't dark matter in the head. make no doubt, i'm talking about school. they could never go wrong with that isn't it? that's what i see.
people retorted, you know nothing about university life, all the failures and disappointment. exams, the ultimate source of the dispirited. it is a daunting event, years or months of study for that one shot, so as to have a distinct line cutting through the creme of the crop and the more average than average students. its their holy grail, being the best, staying up the top. afterall, there is no significant place on earth for the average. they didn't pay huge sum of money and be in debt to be average. most of them didn't but i did.
during primary school, i got a score barely qualified for special courses but opted for an average neighbourhood school. i went on to graduate from this school with 7 'A's but went over to polytechnic. (guess that what most people then see it as the lower option). average average.
during my poly life, i was not even close to the top 30%, let alone 10%. honestly i don't know where i stand among my cohort as we don't get to see our ranking, unlike in primary and secondary school. i was never out of the top 10% till i reach poly. mark my words, never. i was the brilliant student, better than the average but hovering under the top. still, i was never given the limelight, you could say i was just an average.
till poly, i couldn't be more average than i am ever was. throughout. i got no good result, no magnificent CCA records, no high rank held. i am your kind of more average than average poly students. however, being average doesn't grant me indemnity from those bout of worries, meeting deadlines, exams, class tests; thoughts about lunch, surviving a boring lesson, to play or to study during study week and what to eat during lecture. i nailed it down, not the way people want me to and still manage to have lotsa fun.
they all said poly is not even a prelude to university education, its hell and heaven. perhaps, a lot of them make a wake up call to be diligent. no more toying around unless good grades are secured. hopefully they know what they are doing in life and not just making the best out of the worst case scenarios. i can't argue if the student genuinely love what they are studying. i still seeing otherwise, thats why i still think education is a necessary un-necessity. oxymoron. thats education for you.
education is a good idea, all of us should be educated. i can't foresee where we will be without it; hollow souls and pipe dreams. the thing is, the curriculum and the whole concept about "holistic" education, it is bullshit. the educators polish our brain smooth to coat our belief that academic results are most essential to be successful. thats why we couldn't even take a bump.
look back and see how many things you should and want to know but the school didn't proffer. for me, i want to learn flute, drawing, creating a website, more about nature and many many more. you could argue that all these are taught in school but still, they don't come in a bundle in those conventional school.
so much for student life. for now, i am lingering at crossroad, not being decisive enough to cut off from my current situation so as to move towards a money making solution. maybe with higher level of education, i'll be able to make a more informed decision. thats what they think right? the higher the level of education, the more you should know.
so for the students out there burying their head in the sea of books till godforsaken time, i hope you know exactly what you are pursuing.
Monday, October 25, 2010
Monday, August 23, 2010
we share the same dream
life's amazing. today i am impressed. this girl, 22, i met at the zoo bus stop via my office lady. she is daring and spontaneous in pursuing her dream. studied in private diploma school. didn't earn a cent before graduation. upon graduation, holds her first job in a managerial position in retail section. after that, moving onwards to build her CV. experience 5 jobs of different nature within a short time span of 1 and a half year. and now, she's at the night safari.
finally some one agrees that qualification ain't everything, life is. no matter how backwards one falls in terms of their education level, they could still made up for it in other ways. what good is a scholar if he/she doesn't know how to handle the vicissitudes of life.
the issue with us, i guess, is that we are all searching for the perfect life. thing is, there's no such thing as a perfect life. one has to make choices. choices signifies sacrifices. sacrifices might lead to regrets. so how could life ever be perfect when presented with such spectrum of decisions; loss and gain? the perfect life could only exist only if one live in ignorance and avoidance.
but on a lighter note, one could have their ideal life. ideal by making an informed choice of letting go and dedicating their work towards their goal, tipping the scale more towards gain than loss. what are our priorities? what do we really live for? is it really worth it to be in that high paying but soul sucking job? is it really necessary to acquire that label? to me, leading an ideal life do and could means letting go of anything, even if it is high in controversy; the 7 years lover, the opportunity for higher education or even the trade in of a promotion for an exotic job. everyone is different in their needs, personality and passion. that's why one decision that seems logically or socially wrong feels so right to the other.
on my way home, cycling in the rain, brought me back to the time when i just graduated from secondary school. caught in a similar weather, a kind uncle offered to share his umbrella across the road. he queried about my decision upon graduation, jc or poly? my answer, poly, maybe engineering. his reply, well, engineering you can get very high starting pay as compared to other fresh graduate but the pay increment really sucks. in contrast, for business student, the starting pay is lower but you can see no limit in terms of monetary rewards. as a 16 year old, i seriously ponder about his advise. but now, 4 years of growing up, if i were to be in the same situation, i would speak boldly of my aspirations cause storing money isn't passion but having a passion could bring in money, which could be in term use to fuel the passion. its an irony that people who earn so much seems more reluctant to part with their money in areas of personal growth.
here, i shall share the life of a guy who i met at SPCA. he's 18 but already with a list of achievements. he is teaching drama to primary school kids, acted in a local production. represent a hotel for this inter-hotel tennis competition (if i didn't recall wrongly) through the recommendation of his coach. is a lead singer for a band and producer or song writer for another. got into criminology at the age of 14 by submitting an essay and passing an interview. but dropped out as he doesn't want to be seem as a child prodigy. is a journalist. apparently he has got an IQ of 170++. waiting to be admitted to lasalle at that point of time. and the best thing is, he doesn't look like a geek. he looks like the typical ah beng, piercing, cap and berms with a bit too much of the english feel. he had a pet snake and tarantula which he fed them rodents. yuck and bloody. (one of my ex-colleague, who is pretty impressive too, used to have a pet scorpion. wth! next time i shall keep a pet ant colony. lol.) he could be bragging and lying but i choose not to doubt. whats the point, i rather be impressed than to be suspecting and jealous. face the truth, we all heard about the 4 year old uni kid and the baby who is chosen as a reincarnation of god, so whats wrong with having a 14 year old uni kid here?
to sum up, i really have got a wonderful life and is heading towards ideal.
- a close to dream and already satisfying and rewarding job (and the pay good too)
- a cosy bed in my homely abode
- a vehicle (bicycle)
- passion fueling life
- the ability to keep on dreaming and achieving what i really want and not what society dictates (prove me wrong that most people do whats expected of them)
at the end of the day, i don't see myself as how much lesser i am as compared to the others but as how much more i could grow into.
finally some one agrees that qualification ain't everything, life is. no matter how backwards one falls in terms of their education level, they could still made up for it in other ways. what good is a scholar if he/she doesn't know how to handle the vicissitudes of life.
the issue with us, i guess, is that we are all searching for the perfect life. thing is, there's no such thing as a perfect life. one has to make choices. choices signifies sacrifices. sacrifices might lead to regrets. so how could life ever be perfect when presented with such spectrum of decisions; loss and gain? the perfect life could only exist only if one live in ignorance and avoidance.
but on a lighter note, one could have their ideal life. ideal by making an informed choice of letting go and dedicating their work towards their goal, tipping the scale more towards gain than loss. what are our priorities? what do we really live for? is it really worth it to be in that high paying but soul sucking job? is it really necessary to acquire that label? to me, leading an ideal life do and could means letting go of anything, even if it is high in controversy; the 7 years lover, the opportunity for higher education or even the trade in of a promotion for an exotic job. everyone is different in their needs, personality and passion. that's why one decision that seems logically or socially wrong feels so right to the other.
on my way home, cycling in the rain, brought me back to the time when i just graduated from secondary school. caught in a similar weather, a kind uncle offered to share his umbrella across the road. he queried about my decision upon graduation, jc or poly? my answer, poly, maybe engineering. his reply, well, engineering you can get very high starting pay as compared to other fresh graduate but the pay increment really sucks. in contrast, for business student, the starting pay is lower but you can see no limit in terms of monetary rewards. as a 16 year old, i seriously ponder about his advise. but now, 4 years of growing up, if i were to be in the same situation, i would speak boldly of my aspirations cause storing money isn't passion but having a passion could bring in money, which could be in term use to fuel the passion. its an irony that people who earn so much seems more reluctant to part with their money in areas of personal growth.
here, i shall share the life of a guy who i met at SPCA. he's 18 but already with a list of achievements. he is teaching drama to primary school kids, acted in a local production. represent a hotel for this inter-hotel tennis competition (if i didn't recall wrongly) through the recommendation of his coach. is a lead singer for a band and producer or song writer for another. got into criminology at the age of 14 by submitting an essay and passing an interview. but dropped out as he doesn't want to be seem as a child prodigy. is a journalist. apparently he has got an IQ of 170++. waiting to be admitted to lasalle at that point of time. and the best thing is, he doesn't look like a geek. he looks like the typical ah beng, piercing, cap and berms with a bit too much of the english feel. he had a pet snake and tarantula which he fed them rodents. yuck and bloody. (one of my ex-colleague, who is pretty impressive too, used to have a pet scorpion. wth! next time i shall keep a pet ant colony. lol.) he could be bragging and lying but i choose not to doubt. whats the point, i rather be impressed than to be suspecting and jealous. face the truth, we all heard about the 4 year old uni kid and the baby who is chosen as a reincarnation of god, so whats wrong with having a 14 year old uni kid here?
to sum up, i really have got a wonderful life and is heading towards ideal.
- a close to dream and already satisfying and rewarding job (and the pay good too)
- a cosy bed in my homely abode
- a vehicle (bicycle)
- passion fueling life
- the ability to keep on dreaming and achieving what i really want and not what society dictates (prove me wrong that most people do whats expected of them)
at the end of the day, i don't see myself as how much lesser i am as compared to the others but as how much more i could grow into.
Saturday, February 20, 2010
the domino effect
you told me i should choose this path, so that i could utilize my years of education, so that i could be swimming in riches in years to come, so that i will be well-liked by everybody else, so that i could be part of everybody else and live like everybody else, so that everybody else will tell me that i am doing the right thing and getting the best out of my life, so that everybody else voices are drowning out my screams, so that nobody else could hear my call for help to pull me out of this path - the well packaged sugar-coated lie - quickest to self destruction.
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but you miss out on one point: everybody else is not me, neither are you.
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but you miss out on one point: everybody else is not me, neither are you.
Friday, February 19, 2010
the stage of boredom
why is it that i am able to remember words that i spend 15 minutes memorising few days ago but fail to absorb anything from the BCM i read a few seconds ago T.T
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
the garhmen.
what have eroded our creativity? gone are the days when it was infinite, together with the purple apple, the monster that is hiding under our bed and the machine that could do practically anything.
i was thinking the day that you appear. you came and taught us to stay, shake hand and fetch. someone else commented these are not going to work anymore. so you threw in the boogey dance. remember the put your right hand in, your right hand out and shake it all about. you were beaming with pride to showcase our newly attained "creativity". well, i hate to break this to you but its all really nothing new. nothing near the wondrous picture of creativity you paint.
return me my creativity. then again, it could have solely been my imagination, that only tiny strand of creativity i am holding on to. what could i have known anyway. my brain could only decipher this much, just a brat right?
its the same old, same old.
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i don't get it. ppl are getting impatient waiting in line when all they really do is to stare at the tv screen every single day. contradictory.
i was thinking the day that you appear. you came and taught us to stay, shake hand and fetch. someone else commented these are not going to work anymore. so you threw in the boogey dance. remember the put your right hand in, your right hand out and shake it all about. you were beaming with pride to showcase our newly attained "creativity". well, i hate to break this to you but its all really nothing new. nothing near the wondrous picture of creativity you paint.
return me my creativity. then again, it could have solely been my imagination, that only tiny strand of creativity i am holding on to. what could i have known anyway. my brain could only decipher this much, just a brat right?
its the same old, same old.
===================================
i don't get it. ppl are getting impatient waiting in line when all they really do is to stare at the tv screen every single day. contradictory.
Saturday, November 28, 2009
sometimes, my school can really be "mind-blowing"
no wonder my head feels empty now.
MP log book is freaking lame. why do we have to do a SIP log book and ANOTHER MP log book when both are telling the same story? its such a bore. shouldn't a mp report suffice. gosh. as if anybody really going to read thru everything. all i can say is the school team (whoever made this marvelous decision to do all these logbooks and report) is really dedicated in their job. in a nutcase, i mean nutshell, i praise the school for developing such a wonderfully encompassing and delightful project scheme for us. it really further prepares us for life after graduation. thats finger (ooh. thumb can be consider a finger too right?) up for you.
MP log book is freaking lame. why do we have to do a SIP log book and ANOTHER MP log book when both are telling the same story? its such a bore. shouldn't a mp report suffice. gosh. as if anybody really going to read thru everything. all i can say is the school team (whoever made this marvelous decision to do all these logbooks and report) is really dedicated in their job. in a nutcase, i mean nutshell, i praise the school for developing such a wonderfully encompassing and delightful project scheme for us. it really further prepares us for life after graduation. thats finger (ooh. thumb can be consider a finger too right?) up for you.
Sunday, November 8, 2009
nutrients in a pill. education in an institute.
"I've been making a list of the things they don't teach you at school. They don't teach you how to love somebody. They don't teach you how to be famous. They don't teach you how to be rich or how to be poor. They don't teach you how to walk away from someone you don't love any longer. They don't teach you how to know what's going on in someone else's mind. They don't teach you what to say to someone who's dying. They don't teach you anything worth knowing." - Neil Gaiman
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how pathetic. but school is still fun =D
i use to be this puny but now, see how much ive grown, notice how ive changed. to u, i no longer comprehensible. must be hard on u to not be able to read me like a book anymore. too bad for u cause now i learn not to speak. u never listen anyway, not till its too late.
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how pathetic. but school is still fun =D
i use to be this puny but now, see how much ive grown, notice how ive changed. to u, i no longer comprehensible. must be hard on u to not be able to read me like a book anymore. too bad for u cause now i learn not to speak. u never listen anyway, not till its too late.
Friday, October 23, 2009
hide no more
today, they talked about university admission. i guess its everybody top priority now to secure a place in their desirable university. well, almost everybody. my graduation plans? i don't know. i lied. there are lots of negative feedback and disparaging comments already. enough is enough.
it doesn't really matter what they think of me anymore. it doesn't matter now, not even what you think of me. these few years, i have been hiding, hiding from all things that i should have taken responsibility. for the sake of you, i try to put everything behind. when i can't, i run away and hide, never to confront the problem.
i know you hated the things that i loved and did since i was a kid. we are different in every ways, don't you see? i can't get you luxurious car or fanciful home, at least thats what i foresee. the american dream is your ideal lifestyle, its not mine. i couldn't carry it with me anymore. i wish to do the things that i genuinely want. rest assured that i know what i am doing. i am not a kiddo anymore, no longer the child who has to be hushed everytime she fell.
if i do fall now, i will stand on my feet and continue onwards. i wish i have known these earlier. its a waste that you have never taught me this. all i remember is you reprimanding me to not do the "stupid" stuffs again. have i not been who i am today, i could have been a hermit or a coward, for thats who you have taught me to be.
though so, i still love you, love you not for what you do but for who you are. believe me, i really do.
it doesn't really matter what they think of me anymore. it doesn't matter now, not even what you think of me. these few years, i have been hiding, hiding from all things that i should have taken responsibility. for the sake of you, i try to put everything behind. when i can't, i run away and hide, never to confront the problem.
i know you hated the things that i loved and did since i was a kid. we are different in every ways, don't you see? i can't get you luxurious car or fanciful home, at least thats what i foresee. the american dream is your ideal lifestyle, its not mine. i couldn't carry it with me anymore. i wish to do the things that i genuinely want. rest assured that i know what i am doing. i am not a kiddo anymore, no longer the child who has to be hushed everytime she fell.
if i do fall now, i will stand on my feet and continue onwards. i wish i have known these earlier. its a waste that you have never taught me this. all i remember is you reprimanding me to not do the "stupid" stuffs again. have i not been who i am today, i could have been a hermit or a coward, for thats who you have taught me to be.
though so, i still love you, love you not for what you do but for who you are. believe me, i really do.
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