the ugly rear of truth

the truth finally hits me. and it not just simply dawn on me, it hits me with the brunt of reality. its shattering to realise that i am still so vulnerable to my environment though i've been shutting off. the fact is i have drifted away, an ocean apart while others are forming new bond; i am cutting pieces of me and leaving them behind - the trade-off for heading towards the alternative. it hurts and its not easy. well, i could have chosen the easy way out but if thats the case, then whats the point.

even if i am faltering and picturing myself as being delusional, delirious and deceitful.
even if for the past few months, the passion has been smothered into numbness.
even if today i felt diminished, a point of nowhere, neither here nor there, caught in between.
even if i'm not moving forward and is reluctant to slide backwards.
i will not bow in this face-off with myself.

yes, things have to change. i am getting too comfortable with my status quo that it is no longer serves my life purpose. just like chess, the game will never progress if i don't make a move. i gonna stay stagnant no more. reminders, reminders - shall not avoid, shall face what it hurts.


you say you'll come but its all just a liar's game.

we lie cause the truth is always being spat at.

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