the girl who just waits and waits and regrets

truth is, i'm scared to death about it; peeling through my skin, cutting into my ribs, digging out my heart, splitting it into two and giving away the one good half. could you imagine the dilemma that i have to go through, sharing my heart, trusting it to others with good faith?

it has never been done and couldn't be done. at least not now, not when the unison would fall apart on the next day.

no, i think it be better for you to split my guts, break my spine and twist my lung. the heart is a selfish organ that i couldn't spare. we should keep our distance just the way it is. and i do recognize that this is a straight path southwards. i couldn't trust myself to do what i want when it comes to matter like this.

the usual me would say that its better to die trying than die wanting, which is much better than just existing. we gonna die willy nilly. but this time it felt better to just do nothing cause it truly scared the hell outta me. so sorry for being so wimpy. who am i sorry for again? i guess nobody but myself.

chalk one up for regrets.

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