decided to blog about something boring that is....
my bookshelf is looking more like a bookshelf!!
though the presence of my soft toy stitch-es (i think theres around 10 of them)(all merchandise at least 30?) still make it look like a cupboard for toy exhibit.
today emerged victorious from the nlb expo book sale!! whoo whoo. 6 books that are seriously underpriced!! $2 each.
ok. and i am lazy to continue bloggin.. Zzz.
Sunday, August 23, 2009
Saturday, August 15, 2009
the tale that inspires
shed the excessive
dare to be different
know the goal
rise no matter how bad the fall is
exceed the limitations
and success will follow
===============================================
once saw a phrase that goes something like this "woman are the stronger sex for man supposedly being the "stronger" sex has a weakness and/or soft spot for woman"
Saturday, August 8, 2009
one day
what if one day...
i lost faith in my dreams
i abandon all my aspirations
physical beauty becomes of utmost importance
i change to be a hard core materialistic girl
i am obsessed with being thin like a stick man
i am so much superficial and so much lesser of me
i am complacent with what comes along and resign to fate
what have i grow into?
what will i be?
no answers, no promises,
but at least i know the above will digust even me myself
===============================================
some use danger as a reason to pull out, no point in exposing our vulnerability
other see danger as an opportunity to test one ability, contemplating if they will succeed in overcoming or bypassing it
there no right or wrong in both perceptions, but i am a believer of the latter. simply cause of the sense of triumph that makes me feel damn good about myself..
i lost faith in my dreams
i abandon all my aspirations
physical beauty becomes of utmost importance
i change to be a hard core materialistic girl
i am obsessed with being thin like a stick man
i am so much superficial and so much lesser of me
i am complacent with what comes along and resign to fate
what have i grow into?
what will i be?
no answers, no promises,
but at least i know the above will digust even me myself
===============================================
some use danger as a reason to pull out, no point in exposing our vulnerability
other see danger as an opportunity to test one ability, contemplating if they will succeed in overcoming or bypassing it
there no right or wrong in both perceptions, but i am a believer of the latter. simply cause of the sense of triumph that makes me feel damn good about myself..
Saturday, August 1, 2009
fear
"Fear is only in our minds,
Taking over all the time.
Fear is only in our minds
but it's taking over all the time"
- Sweet sacrifice
, Evanescene
"Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear, not absence of fear."
- Mark Twain
people have different fear threshold. but how to change it? how to limit fear to its minimal? how to alter a person perspective to ones benefit? how to do it right?
humour, wisdom, persuasion. tested negative. seriously lacking that ): somebody pls implant those to me!!
wouldnt it be better and easier if everything could be kicked off with a bit of emo-ish, wallowing in self empathy, disregard for the future. shouldnt that suppose to worry ppl who cares, but their blatant display of indifference and apathy make me feel like shit. what? it doesnt matter anymore that i not satisfied with my current state. it doesnt matter if i cant achieve my dreams. it doesnt matter as long as i stay safe under your wing. it doesnt matter cause u wont be reading this.
i so distorted inside that i dont even recgonise myself anymore. i so frightened of my thoughts. i am being made a prisoner of them, to contain because of the physical inhibition u administer on me. but guess what, now i in a fight or die mode (ok.. too extreme. maybe just spiritual death). pull the last breath out of my nothingness or aid me towards my greatness.
"You can’t hold me down..
...
Nobody’s gonna stand in my way
Give it up, I’m doin’ this my way
Nobody’s gonna stand in my way
Give it up, I’m doin’ this my way
Out of my way"
- Out of my way
, Seether
Taking over all the time.
Fear is only in our minds
but it's taking over all the time"
- Sweet sacrifice
, Evanescene"Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear, not absence of fear."
- Mark Twain
people have different fear threshold. but how to change it? how to limit fear to its minimal? how to alter a person perspective to ones benefit? how to do it right?
humour, wisdom, persuasion. tested negative. seriously lacking that ): somebody pls implant those to me!!
wouldnt it be better and easier if everything could be kicked off with a bit of emo-ish, wallowing in self empathy, disregard for the future. shouldnt that suppose to worry ppl who cares, but their blatant display of indifference and apathy make me feel like shit. what? it doesnt matter anymore that i not satisfied with my current state. it doesnt matter if i cant achieve my dreams. it doesnt matter as long as i stay safe under your wing. it doesnt matter cause u wont be reading this.
i so distorted inside that i dont even recgonise myself anymore. i so frightened of my thoughts. i am being made a prisoner of them, to contain because of the physical inhibition u administer on me. but guess what, now i in a fight or die mode (ok.. too extreme. maybe just spiritual death). pull the last breath out of my nothingness or aid me towards my greatness.
"You can’t hold me down..
...
Nobody’s gonna stand in my way
Give it up, I’m doin’ this my way
Nobody’s gonna stand in my way
Give it up, I’m doin’ this my way
Out of my way"
- Out of my way
, Seether
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
道
道(chi:dao jap:do)
definition: way
more appropriately interpreted as:
1) the way of breathing spirit into form ("newborn")
2) the way of guiding spirit out of form (afterlife)
this 道 has been in my mind for the whole of today, i have to write it down, record it somewhere and decipher it furthur. it has intrigued me today when i read up on one article about it. and furthur reinforced by the encounter on sunday when i went to this house temple. let just say the sunday experience was antagonizing and counter-productive with pushy preachers. the dao that they seek is revolving around guiding spirit out of the body correctly upon death.
the dao that i am more interested is the way of giving life to a form. i was wondering what is the point of attaining enlightenment in the afterlife when we, contradicting humans, stress upon where to go on a usual, normal sunday, not to mention even for a meal. yes, i am fascinated by how religion could be a mental support for so many people. and its even more stimulating how when some people say, "i know god must have something else in place for me".(just a small percentage of time though) so it means every moment in our life is predestined, and we, being the vulnerable, have no power and strength to defy it? yet so many great people in history have proved that, we, human beings, are strong-willed and possessed all ability to be in control of our life, to be the master of our fate. and what worth is belief, if we just leave everything to their natural flow? we should be acting with the force of nature, not let nature execute its act. can u imagine the world now if everybody only adopted faith in some external power and not take a leap of faith on their very own abilities? shouldnt we grow and learn from our mistake instead of succumbing to our failure?
maybe i did not know the teachings of the religion accurately and/or well enough to make these comments and i definitely hope that religious people would not take any offence. i have a religion too, in name not by faith, determined by birth not by choice. i dont really believe in their existence, just not yet. maybe someday i will embrace them, even to the extent of offering my soul(ok thats sound unorthodox, perhaps just my choice of lifestyle), but just not now.
haha.. i think i have digressed but my stand is, what is the point of learning to guide the spirit upon death when life itself is just a form with the spirit locked up. (ok, so this might only applies to me, since i think i the only one who feel that i just living life for the sake of living it) so our spirirt could only be truly unleashed when death looms? all this while, i felt my life has just been taking form of what people perceive as the "way". to study, to perform academically, to grow up, to get a good job, to have immense fortune, and to retire. cannot deny there are fun times but other than that i just felt trap, felt like there is something out there that i should seek, felt like i should break free, and it definitely felt like i have the choice of spreading my wings. or should i just continue on this well-paved route that so many people have travelled effortless (relatively) and few have fell? there is no hidden traps, no dangers lurking in some corner. but the alternative path, which might have been strewn with all kind of mysterious/evil/dangerous power, deserves it attention too.
am i to work then enjoy? or am i qualified to enjoy work life?
am i to follow? or am i the one to pursue?
am i to run on the ground? or am i the chosen one to fly?
am i to wait for my prince and live "happily ever after"? or am i prepared to set off for the quest of my life?
am i to submit a neat white sheet of report on my life? or am i branded as the creative one to produce multiple colourful sheets?
am i to settle down with expectations of others? or am i capable to fufil my dreams?
the choice is clear but the path is obscure
the goal is set but resistance will be strong
though so, i will thrive
even if it means to explore a path unknown
even if everyone else think its absurb
even if i am the only one consent to it
this life of mine needs some revolution
and it wont go hand in hand with the tradition
someday i will free that spirit
and u shall see
definition: way
more appropriately interpreted as:
1) the way of breathing spirit into form ("newborn")
2) the way of guiding spirit out of form (afterlife)
this 道 has been in my mind for the whole of today, i have to write it down, record it somewhere and decipher it furthur. it has intrigued me today when i read up on one article about it. and furthur reinforced by the encounter on sunday when i went to this house temple. let just say the sunday experience was antagonizing and counter-productive with pushy preachers. the dao that they seek is revolving around guiding spirit out of the body correctly upon death.
the dao that i am more interested is the way of giving life to a form. i was wondering what is the point of attaining enlightenment in the afterlife when we, contradicting humans, stress upon where to go on a usual, normal sunday, not to mention even for a meal. yes, i am fascinated by how religion could be a mental support for so many people. and its even more stimulating how when some people say, "i know god must have something else in place for me".(just a small percentage of time though) so it means every moment in our life is predestined, and we, being the vulnerable, have no power and strength to defy it? yet so many great people in history have proved that, we, human beings, are strong-willed and possessed all ability to be in control of our life, to be the master of our fate. and what worth is belief, if we just leave everything to their natural flow? we should be acting with the force of nature, not let nature execute its act. can u imagine the world now if everybody only adopted faith in some external power and not take a leap of faith on their very own abilities? shouldnt we grow and learn from our mistake instead of succumbing to our failure?
maybe i did not know the teachings of the religion accurately and/or well enough to make these comments and i definitely hope that religious people would not take any offence. i have a religion too, in name not by faith, determined by birth not by choice. i dont really believe in their existence, just not yet. maybe someday i will embrace them, even to the extent of offering my soul(ok thats sound unorthodox, perhaps just my choice of lifestyle), but just not now.
haha.. i think i have digressed but my stand is, what is the point of learning to guide the spirit upon death when life itself is just a form with the spirit locked up. (ok, so this might only applies to me, since i think i the only one who feel that i just living life for the sake of living it) so our spirirt could only be truly unleashed when death looms? all this while, i felt my life has just been taking form of what people perceive as the "way". to study, to perform academically, to grow up, to get a good job, to have immense fortune, and to retire. cannot deny there are fun times but other than that i just felt trap, felt like there is something out there that i should seek, felt like i should break free, and it definitely felt like i have the choice of spreading my wings. or should i just continue on this well-paved route that so many people have travelled effortless (relatively) and few have fell? there is no hidden traps, no dangers lurking in some corner. but the alternative path, which might have been strewn with all kind of mysterious/evil/dangerous power, deserves it attention too.
am i to work then enjoy? or am i qualified to enjoy work life?
am i to follow? or am i the one to pursue?
am i to run on the ground? or am i the chosen one to fly?
am i to wait for my prince and live "happily ever after"? or am i prepared to set off for the quest of my life?
am i to submit a neat white sheet of report on my life? or am i branded as the creative one to produce multiple colourful sheets?
am i to settle down with expectations of others? or am i capable to fufil my dreams?
the choice is clear but the path is obscure
the goal is set but resistance will be strong
though so, i will thrive
even if it means to explore a path unknown
even if everyone else think its absurb
even if i am the only one consent to it
this life of mine needs some revolution
and it wont go hand in hand with the tradition
someday i will free that spirit
and u shall see
Monday, July 27, 2009
my hair issue.
on mc today..
anyway time to address my hair issue. seems like i been repeating this encounter for countless time.
on one fateful wed, i decided to cut my hair short. very short. cause i so sick of having to tie up my long hair. this way it kind of defeat the purpose of having long hair anyway. if you want to know exactly what kind of hairstyle i wanted, go google asymetrical short hair. (initially wanted to post pictures but feeling very lazy now)
so i went around looking for a decent hair salon. after walking one whole rd at the neighbourhood, i found a suitable salon. it seems to be a popular choice cause i waited quite a while. when i first settled into a comfy position, my heart was beating crazily! that must be a bad omen. got to learn to trust my instinct better.
after a while, the hairdresser swayed over, with his scissors that glinted threateningly. an authoritative aura builded up and surrounded us, it was tell-tale sign that all resistance would be futile and protest would not be tolerated and yet i failed to pick it up.
when i showed the hairstylist the picture, he studied the picture for a while and dispute that this hairstyle will not be suitable for me. it will pull down my jawline and make my face looked rectangular. so he began grabbing my hair (seems like he is having a great time playing with it) and proclaim in this "eureka!" mode that, "yes this is the hair style for u, bob will look so gorgeous on u!"
so now i ended up in this "bob-by" look. despite trying to persuade him to cut my hair/fringe shorter for multiple times (est 5 times), my desire to cut short hair still failed to reach him. he would always pick up my hair, ponder for a while, and say this is the best length for u. any shorter it would be close to hideous or wierd. so now i stuck with this neither long nor short hair and fringe :..< thanks to the stubborn hairdresser who is obsessed with dominating the world with bob (i think)
but still going to keep this hair for 1 month and see how it goes from there.
anyway time to address my hair issue. seems like i been repeating this encounter for countless time.
on one fateful wed, i decided to cut my hair short. very short. cause i so sick of having to tie up my long hair. this way it kind of defeat the purpose of having long hair anyway. if you want to know exactly what kind of hairstyle i wanted, go google asymetrical short hair. (initially wanted to post pictures but feeling very lazy now)
so i went around looking for a decent hair salon. after walking one whole rd at the neighbourhood, i found a suitable salon. it seems to be a popular choice cause i waited quite a while. when i first settled into a comfy position, my heart was beating crazily! that must be a bad omen. got to learn to trust my instinct better.
after a while, the hairdresser swayed over, with his scissors that glinted threateningly. an authoritative aura builded up and surrounded us, it was tell-tale sign that all resistance would be futile and protest would not be tolerated and yet i failed to pick it up.
when i showed the hairstylist the picture, he studied the picture for a while and dispute that this hairstyle will not be suitable for me. it will pull down my jawline and make my face looked rectangular. so he began grabbing my hair (seems like he is having a great time playing with it) and proclaim in this "eureka!" mode that, "yes this is the hair style for u, bob will look so gorgeous on u!"
so now i ended up in this "bob-by" look. despite trying to persuade him to cut my hair/fringe shorter for multiple times (est 5 times), my desire to cut short hair still failed to reach him. he would always pick up my hair, ponder for a while, and say this is the best length for u. any shorter it would be close to hideous or wierd. so now i stuck with this neither long nor short hair and fringe :..< thanks to the stubborn hairdresser who is obsessed with dominating the world with bob (i think)
but still going to keep this hair for 1 month and see how it goes from there.
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