newborn

i feeling so much better now!! frankly speaking, even i myself was amazed by how fast i climbed out of that pit of darkness. it happened so swiftly to the point that its kind of scary. guess its a gift, much like an ability, to move on without prolonged hesistation and despondency. from being inert just a few days ago (perhaps it started back from a few months in stages) to super reactive with explosive energy!! sadly, i still stuck at home because ppl keep telling me to stay at home! argh..i have to get a breather outside or i might end up talking to the wall! now thats absolutely creepy! lol. guess i scary no matter what huh..haha

now its down to serious stuffs..

have to take a very long timeoff from aikido. haiz.
initially thought of quitting due to the influence of family but heck!! even if they use a super strong water hose on the flame, it will stop, ultimately i will dry up and ignite the flame back..but right now i drenched and with a moist right armpit literally!! lol (ok i know its gross)

in life, unexpected things just keep popping up. some resent it but still theres no point of avoiding it. even a safe driver could get into accident if some ku ku ppl decided to do something stupid. think about it, do u really want to play it safe everytime?
u call this life?:
study, achieve academically, get a degree/master blah blah, find a good paying job though u may not enjoy it, store up lots of cash for retirement, get a family, start to worry if your kids play safe outside, retire at 62, and then hopefully start to relish every moment of life or be one to play chinese chess everyday. in the meanwhile praying that no accident or death fell upon u before u retire at 62. not to forget its essential to remain hopeful that yr children will support u after yr retirement. oh how hard is that right? with the advances of technology, people could now wire money. right, so right.
my point is live life like theres nothing to fall back on, live it the way u going to love it, live it so that u wont have to take 3 months to finish your last words (talking about regrets n wishlist)

in the end it will feel so much better to say, i am proud that i have done ___ even though i have to stop due to ___ instead of i wish i have tried ___ but i got no time.

once u onto sth, detailed plans on paper are good for wiping the backside when u run out of toilet papers. things will pan out and not according to those details!

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