failed to impress

i wish i would not screw up but it seems like the more i try to avoid mistakes, the more frequent they appear.

just the plain old slow me. today my bicycle just skidded. talk about stupidity huh.

though all said and done, i will still hang on cause theres my pride to protect.

if only i could live up to expectations.

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i wish i could be smarter
i wish i could perform better
i wish i have more excitement and achievements in life
i wish i am more well-read
i wish i did not waste all this time
i wish i am not of such a contradictory nature

they used to assure me about wishing upon a wishing star
the good things in life, they are not that far if we still hold on to our so called "childishness"
when we grow, we argue in the name of science but look where we are
cynics and skeptics
some just couldn't accept the best things in life need no reasoning
the never ending why, if you were to ask me
though there will be this occasional self-debilitating, i still love who i am
this love-hate feeling
i will stay happy and take things one step at a time
not gonna stop right now

goodness, i don't even know what the hell i am writing now.

reliving childhood

cycling in the storm, i probably look crazy. drenched, soaked to the very last fiber of my clothes. the water lashed at me, fighting for a foothold on my glasses, clouding my vision. gravitational force in cahoots with those angled slope. still, these obstacles lie effectively harmlessly and this moment feels so liberating.

don't worry even if i am always getting lost. believe me that i'm on my way now.

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cycled from tampines to japanese cemetery~ whee!

we are all running in different directions

they are all out there and not coming back. this has always been the way. but this time round, i gonna chase after them, regardless whatsoever. it will be my last sprint and there wouldn't be any faltering. not anymore.

i can't fight the moonlight alone

emptiness floods through the wall, causing a huge hole and a wound so deep.
every wounds expose lie solemnly like those of a grave, waiting to be covered with the earth.
yet refusing to vanish entirely with an indication of a stone that protrudes out of the once empty field, reminding people of its existence. its all real, nothing being made up here.
on the stone is the inscription that could only be decoded by me and that meant little to everybody else.
now here in loneliness i stand, contemplating my own emptiness, announcing that this time is dead but memories will live on, pass down from one to another or till i bring it with me six feet under.

why does it always have to end this way?
are you sure you will be coming back? cause i can't trust anybody on that now.
if only you really do ...

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japan, you are almost in for the whole of my march entries. guess i really can't get you out of my head. then the choice left is to go. no more excuses!

new attention seeker

new kitten in the vicinity. white and ginger with 2 small black patches at the nape and back. adult ginger cat is not pleased with this new neighbour. staring intensely at every minute movement of the kitten and striking the kitten when the kitten gets too close. cats do have their days too.

cute beyond words

mummy, can i keep them at home pleassssse?

prove me wrong. cause i need you to.

i use to think that numbers don't matter but now i see i am just naive. in fact its whats that matter most. how could it be, when i will still be there even if there is only gonna be one. i thought we grew up and its quality that we pursuing but thats not the case. the value of the meeting could only be calibrated through the number of turn ups. is that so? guess our bond did indeed stand so weak.

its falling apart.

now, tear through the lies that i living in. dispel the illusion that we are close just like before. how ludicrous, cause i just realise we have never been. and all those memories, are you insinuating that some things are best kept like it is in ones mind? all our separate lives. the differences that have trickled through all these years forcing us apart, further and further till all we see are speckles across the horizon. is it really going to be so?

its falling apart.