irrational

love the people who are always there but don't forget those that could never be.
cause the days you aren't here, i going to think of you but i won't be missing you that much.
though so, i still hope we could meet and i couldn't hope more.
then again, there are times we fight and other we let go.
this doesn't make sense anymore.

it doesn't have to.

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can't figure out.
ok. this will truly be the last post dedicated to japan /:

the last goodbye

even if sorry meant a thousand apologies, what use does it serve?
then again, who is there to blame when we couldn't even pinpoint the exact fault.
clinging on to the fact that it is irreparable isn't much of a comfort.
and the broken dreams of many, maybe there is a purpose.
not to avoid, not to dwell, not to be devastated.
perhaps all is naught but a blessing in disguise.
i won't know cause i won't be there, not anymore.

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3 posts on the supposedly japan trip, i should stop here. will look forward from now on.

first thing to do then: cut hair!!

the confession

you think it would all go away after some time but it doesn't. the ghost of you, its always lingering in my mind and its haunting me right now. bet you didn't know what you have done, lifting me to such a vulnerable position. now, its just too late. nothing is going to happen but the reruns just won't stop. theres no meaning to it and i feel so ridiculous. not that i want to but you got me now.

and you aren't even here anymore.

me and my delusions.

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trip canceled. oh well, so much for hope.
maybe i still stand by my point but it would mean a whole lot different than it have been..

the last minute changes

please let it not be a series of disappointment. i really want to go, its my last chance.

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processing is damn slow. deposit is being made during study week but we are only informed that theres not enough vacancies this week. theres at least a full 4 weeks for everything to be settled. disappointed. all those redundant policies and procedures. didn't they know they have to book air tickets way in advance for such a big group of 44. yet they took so long to make a decision. what a wise move. cross my fingers and pray hard for this one last hope.

oh, what a stupid thing to do

the buckles snap tight around my calves. through the grills, one could see that it is not going to rain, not today. i have to leave the comfort of the cooling indoor air and battle the sweltering heat. yet there is anticipation as i lock my gaze at the furthest end of the road that the window would permit me to see. i push myself away from the sofa, feeling at least two inches taller. gliding towards the door - on the way, i pick up the bottle that would be so essential in building up my defence in this battle with the heat - i fumble through the set of keys to find the exact one that fit into the keyhole. stepping out, the uninviting heat pervades my body as i felt the drastic change of temperature of the environment.

we persevere on through the heat, feeling the perspiration on our forehead and back. the element of thrill is overpowering the need for shelter. soon, we reach a straight slope, in which i believe i could conquer it. (slope is actually easy, there's just certain risks involved) cautiously, i roll myself off the safe edge and down the slope. i started to pick up speed. increasingly, the only thing i could control was the direction. there is no way i could control the speed. just like a rolling snowball, i just kept going, faster and faster. greater and greater i become.

it is at least 4/5 down the slope and all is smooth (as i said, going downslope is actually easy) till i spot 2 construction workers standing at the mouth of the small road?/carpark?. instinctively, i know i have to stop immediately, before i reach the place and some monster truck turn in or come out from the road and squash me flat. split second decision, there is no luxury of time to be speculating about how my body will be minced under the truck. i couldn't have slow to a safe speed before i reach the road as i am going too fast. i could have fell face flat on the ground and knocked my teeth out if i try.

however i manage, equipped with my critical thinking and observant skills - within a snap of finger - to stop my roll down the slope. flat down on the floor i become. i have use the gravitational force of the fence, that stood ridiculously unaffected over me, to stop my roll, just like how a snow ball disintegrate when they collide into a tree. using the softness of the banner to absorb some of the shock. the residue impact of the collision has sent me flying off and rolling on the floor. the bottle of water flew from my hand and synchronize its roll on the grass with me on the concrete surface. the duet. thanks to my speedy reaction, now i have got a cluster of bruise (around 7) on my left thigh, bleeding right knee and scraped right elbow.

so what they say is true. 厉害就好，不要假厉害。

the yen monster

all excited for the trip but this is damn depressing. the rate now is only S$1 for 63.5 yen and has never hit 67 for the past 3 months! argh, why is yen so strong. hope, it will at least hit a 66 yen in a few weeks time, not that 2.5 yen ever going to get me anything but better than nothing. T.T

cheer me on!

this is simply too irresistible!!! so adorable (:
5 hours to end of school 3 hours to exam and im still here blogging~ good job.